A Pregnant Pause

I’m glad I made the decision to go home because the toddler is getting too tough to handle. As he’s still as bouncy and active as ever, I can’t run after him in my pregnant state. Although he only weighs 15.5 kg, he has the strength to pull away from me or even push me down!

WE ALL FALL DOWN
Once, I was holding his hand to cross the road in front of the supermarket and he was naughtily bouncing across (he doesn’t walk!) that I tripped over his feet and both of us fell down on the pavement.

Hubby was horrified to see his pregnant wife and son falling like two sacks of potatoes – I was scolding the toddler loudly and he was wailing coz he’d scraped his knees! I was not hurt because I’d broken the fall by falling on my side but I was upset at falling down like a clumsy oaf in front of a very busy shopping mall!!!

Lucas got the scolding of his life that he stopped crying over his scraped knees (bad, grumpy Mummy) and Hubby decided NOT to let me hold his hand anymore – he’s more obedient with Papa anyway. Nowadays, he’ll stop 5 feet before the edge of a pavement and hold out his hand for Papa – when I wanna take it, he says, “No! Papa’s hand is strong…” (bleagh)

GRUBBY MUMMY
I knew that going to preschool a whole day would have its side effects and of course, it has to happen on the day you least expect it.

A few months back, I was in Hubby’s track pants and t-shirt (before I got my matenity clothes) and market slippers when the little fella decided he didn’t want to go on to the bus.

Instead, he ran around the pavement yelling and crying – I was having morning sickness then so you can imagine my having to scream (holding nausea down) and run after him…

Even the teacher coming down to coax him didn’t help. In fact, she drove him further away that I was worried he’d run onto the main road with tons of buses and cars coming. Since he kept yelling, “Mummy follow! Mummy follow!” I finally agreed and HAD to go. Luckily, I had a banana and a bun on hand.

In the bus, he lay his head down on my lap and sipped his water bottle happily and also ate the banana. His teachers and ayi were surprised to see me (and boy, was I sight in my messy hair, oversized clothes and slippers!!!) – I even had to borrow taxi money from his class teacher

HOUSE IS JAIL!
Lucas gets SOOOO naughty sometimes i.e. running around naked after a bath, not wanting to switch off the TV to put on shoes before the bus comes or slow in eating, I sometimes threaten to call the police and send him to jail.

He’ll say, “Ai go jail!” (I want to go to jail)
Me: Ok, let’s call the policeman. You don’t sleep in the room tonight, ok? You sleep in the jail with the policeman.
He: No! House is jail! It’s the same! (I wanted to laugh because what he’s saying is quite true but I kept quiet. He got angry when I showed no reaction and grabbed my face) Say yes! It’s the same!!!
Me: No, the house is not a jail. If you’re naughty, you go to jail. If you want to stay in the house, you be good.
He: Mummy naughty!!! Lucas good boy!!! Ni bu guai! Lucas guai!

Great, now he can protest loudly in 2 languages. I am SO TIRED when this happens because Hubby only sees a cheery, cute toddler who hugs and kisses him when he leaves at 7 am!!! I need a holiday…

WRONG BUS
We usually take the bus to church, which also takes us to a nearby park. Deciding to check out another park, we packed some snacks and went to catch the bus.

Seeing a different number, Lucas REFUSED to go up the bus!!! As the bus wasn’t going to wait, I had to urge a screaming, crying toddler up the stairs.

On the bus, he was still yelling and crying,

Lucas: This not wumber 3 wumber 1! Mai sit this bus! Go home! Go home!
Me: 31 doesn’t go to the park. 31 goes to church. We’re going to a new park…
Lucas: NOOOOOO! Wumber 3 wumber 1 go to the park. This bus no go to the park! This wrong bus! (Gets off my lap, stand on the gangway and yells at the driver) STOPPPPPPP! Ding che!!! (Now the other passengers know that we are FOREIGNERS and even the driver looks at him through the rear-view mirror and tells me to carry him)
Me: (cursing, cursing, cursing inside) Keep quiet! Stop it! If you don’t keep quiet, the driver will ask you to get off…
Lucas: This WRONG bus! STOPPPPPPP!!!!Ding che!!!
Me: (getting angry) Eh, if you don’t keep quiet, you’re not going to any park anymore. You’re staying at home!!!
Lucas: (ignores me and continues to yell and cry)
Me: (to Hubby) I think he wants to go to the other park. (Hubby nods and scolds Lucas too. No results.) Ok, let’s go to the new park one time. Only one time, okay? Next time go to the old park.
Lucas: (stops crying). Ok. Just one time.
Me: (In my heart – “Wait till you’re bigger, I’ll definitely give you the rotan!!!”

JUST WORK, NO MUSIC
One evening, he came back and heard music coming from my laptop…

He: What’s that sound?
Me: Music. Mummmy play music on the computer…
He: Switch it off! No music! Just work!

What a little slave-driver!!!

YOU FORGOT!
On my birthday recently, Hubby told him to wish me ‘Happy Birthday’ and also give me a kiss. He refused because he said, “No birthday cake!”. Hubby said he’ll pick up a cake later after lunch.

After the afternoon nap, Lucas woke up and stumbled into the hall. The first thing he did was point a finger accusingly at Hubby and said matter-of-factly,

“No ‘Happy Birthday’ cake! You forgot buy the cake! Mummy no cake!”

I couldn’t help bursting out laughing as Hubby sheepishly scrambled out the door with his keys and wallet, muttering, “Oops! Ok, ok, Papa go buy the cake now…”. Poor Hubby!

FINISHED ALREADY
Hubby came back late one night and I was telling him about our McDonald’s dinner and ice-cream snack.

Me: Lucas, tell Papa what you ate for dinner…
Lucas: Nuggrets! And burger! (He ate 4 nuggets and a quarter of my Big Mac)
Me: Ice cream leh?
Hubby: Wah…Lucas eat ice-cream ah? So nice!
Lucas: Why you talk ice-cream? Finished already! (Looking at Hubby as if he’s a moron for talking about a beautiful moment that was already over LOL)
Hubby: Oh, finished already. Lucas finished all the ice-cream? Didn’t keep some for Papa?
Lucas: No….(in a small voice.) Lucas forgot! No keep ice-cream for Papa…(looking slightly guilty)
Papa and I exchanged smiles.
Lucas: Next time ok?(and walks out of the kitchen).

Oh my God…we have a bossy little boy in the making. GROANS. I hope the baby will be able to stand up to him!