Confinement lady or not?

Besides finding a new gynae for myself and a new kindy for the tot, I’ve also got to find a new confinement lady…

I don’t exactly have fond memories of my first confinement because:

1. She wasn’t supportive of breastfeeding. Because part of the duties include taking care of the newborn at night, she suggested that she brought him over to me each time I need to breastfeed.

But when he woke up every 2 hours to feed, she got FED UP and fed him a bottle of formula two nights in a row!

Even after he roomed-in with me and woke up to feed, she’d wake up too and stand by my door to comment that my breastmilk wasn’t “thick” enough, which is why he couldn’t stay full.

And when I expressed the pathetic 1-2 oz with the Medela breast pump, she’d say she’s RIGHT about my lack of breastmilk.

2. She grumbled a lot. When he slept with me, she NEVER stopped grumbling about how I a “young, stupid mother” is challenging her 15 years of expertise of caring for newborns.

Because there were a lot of books at my home, she’d love to criticize me for “being too Western” and “believing everything I read in books.”

3. She’s a bully. Since Hubby went to work and the baby slept most of the time, it’s just the both of us at home.

I frequently had to get out of bed to call her for help because she’d be watching ASTRO in the hall with the volume turned up high. She also pretended not to hear me when I ask for something.

But the minute Hubby is back, she’d “pretend” to be very hardworking by chopping vegetables, fussing over me or busy doing something…

When my Mum asked me to move over to their place, even my Dad could see that she’s a nasty woman. I remember his rushing my Mum at the market because he was worried of what she’d do to me since I’m alone with her at home!

She’d let the baby CRY and CRY and CRY till his face was red each time she bathed him. To her, she said it’s natural and that we’re being too “soft” on him. In the end, I think my Dad also scolded her for being a cold, heartless woman.

(A friend who was desperate for ANY CL and took her no. from us later told us that she’d even fought with her 6 year old for the ASTRO control!!!)

4. She’s stubborn. Because she could only come later, my Mum cooked the confinement food for me and when I told her I was getting a sore throat and feeling feverish, she reduced the ginger. I also loved the date tea she made and happily drank it everytime.

When my Mum told her that, she pooh-poohed my “fever” and said NO post-partum woman can feel “heaty”. Can you believe that I had fever 3 times during my confinement? For the third time, I cried because I felt like I was going to die that my Dad stepped in.

Finally, a traditional Chinese physician confirmed that I was the “heaty” type and couldn’t take the regular dose of confinement food.

Only then did the CL reduce the “heatiness” but that was like the LAST week of confinement. I also hated the awful, thick date tea she made and didn’t drink that much!

5. She wasn’t helpful. Since she wasn’t taking care of the newborn at night, we thought she might help with some housework e.g. sweeping or folding clothes. No way, Jose! That means, she was only going to the market, cooking my meals and bathing (or torturing) the baby…

The only good thing about her is that she’s creative in cooking her meals, which included a soup. But is it really worth almost RM3,000 to pay a woman only to cook for me a month?

Now that our apartment is really cramped with my family, Hubby, the boy, me and the baby, I wonder if I could find a confinement lady who’d just help during the day and then go home? Or perhaps support my Mum with the housework while my Mum plays the role of Chief CL?

My Mum likes the idea too but we’d have to act fast because good CLs are taken up quickly also. She’s scouting for potential candidates now – I hope she’s successful because it’d save us MONEY and SPACE!

UPDATE: My Mum found me a daytime CL who will cook and help out with the baby until I finish my dinner. Fingers crossed that she’s as great as she sounds

Thanks, everyone, for your ideas and suggestions…

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Tagged as: Pregnancy