Culture shocks - part 2
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…continued from here
By 5.30 pm, it feels like 8 pm in Malaysia. Unless you roam the streets like the others, it can feel rather late if you’re stuck in your apartment. Imagine how it’s like when everyone (except hubby) finishes their dinner by 6.30 pm, what’s left to do? I know it’s just my first week here, but this is the time when I think, “What have I got myself into?”
4. Everything at one go. I need to remind myself that it’s just one week and I need time to adjust, to make friends and to know my way around. Being in the PR/communications line where speed is essential, the tagline “It takes time” is a disaster, a catastrophe or even the apocalypse!
- Leaving the working world - I started working part-time at the age of 17 and full-time at the age of 24. That means I’ve been a part of the workforce for almost 10 years (16 years on a part-time basis). Earning an income is one of the most liberating activities, which is why many organizations are fighting on an active basis to support efforts that enable women to earn a living.
- Equally important is the the brain food that I consume every day to sustain my soul - from working with people, working with words and working with visuals! Now, I’m at home cooking, cleaning, clearing up and entertaining Lucas for 12 hours or more everyday. A lot of this is manual labor, which is great for the physique but talking to a toddler and listening/watching Sesame Street, Postman Pat, Dora the Explorer etc for 1-2 hours straight EVERY DAY can be *quite* mind-numbing.
- Leaving the country - I travelled a lot when I worked and have always felt more blessed each time I return that I am a Malaysian. Nothing makes me yearn for my home country and adoptive state more than now especially for the comforts of home and the comforts of the familiar. Ever wonder why McDonald’s is such a success? Because it’s a recognizable brand all over the world. If you feel lost or disoriented, the moment you see the Golden Arches, you know you’re somewhere near what you know as ‘civilisation’.
- Here’s what I miss now: KEDAI RUNCIT. SUMMER ALL YEAR ROUND. A DIVERSITY OF RACES which means you can get NASI LEMAK, KOAY TEOW THING, MEE GORENG, ROTI CANAI, FRIED KOAY TEOW, WESTERN BREAKFAST or anything just around the corner.
- Living the SAHM life - When I was a full-time working woman, my day lasts for more than 14 hours where I kept up with emails and conference calls till 11pm weekly on a regular basis. When I turned into a full-time working mother, such workaholic hours did not work yet work demands that I contribute at least 10 hours daily. During this time, my blog was hardly updated (except for Lucas’ developments) and ‘busy’ and ‘tired’ feature strongly in my vocab.
- Now, I’m still busy though not as tired and my blog is updated almost daily. I’m available 24-7 for Lucas, which is the whole point for this, but it’s eating away at the person that I am. I am not just a Mother, a Wife or a Woman. I am an individual, with individual needs, likes, dislikes, feelings, thoughts and interests.
- The worst problem is probably that my hobbies are reading and writing but I can’t do this with a toddler around (not for adult topics anyway). I can still enjoy music as my sister has kindly uploaded a lot of my favorite tunes (and thank God for Yahoo! Launchcast), which I firmly turn on after I turn off the TV while I cook. I will be able to enjoy TV once we subscribe to cable but for now, my true passions (not THAT kind) can only be ignited late, late at night…
P/S Pardon the emotional post but I needed to get this out because I’m not doing that well actually. Time to be honest. Awareness for action.
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Filed in China, culture, mummy, opinion 11 Comments so far
allthingspurple on 30 Nov 2007 at 5:32 am #
yea, i never did like that feeling when the sky gets dark by 4pm. But that would give you lots of time to catch up on good book. Love the pictures of people and the vendor on the street on the below post. Reflect how hustle and bustle of a street can be so different in different country.
bh on 30 Nov 2007 at 7:24 am #
I can identify with you (though not being in a foreign land). Often,people get ready for bed here by 7:30pm
Have a look at
http://www.ehomemakers.net/en/index.php
KGC on 30 Nov 2007 at 12:08 pm #
I have been in your situation before, just taking care of Darren for a mere 4 days. At the end of day 2, I was already missing office. Imagine!
I think once you are more familiar with your surroundings, please try to get out of the box. Otherwise, you will drive yourself nuts, it’s just like living in a cell.
etceteramommy on 30 Nov 2007 at 7:50 pm #
I strongly feel for you. I’m a lil lucky bcos i’m in acountry where communication is not too much of a prob (until they speaks mandarin). As you mentioned, it’s just 1 week. You’ll get the hang of it later. Haha.. hv to use this word ‘it takes time’. But once you get used to the routine, everything will be much easier to get by. Trust me… K. Hang in there..You’re doing great!
ryeli on 02 Dec 2007 at 12:00 pm #
I so hear you and also feel for you. I only had that 3 weeks and I was so into pulling all my hair out.
Anyway, I believe we women are also strong enough to adapt to whatever situation we’re in. Remember the first time we were in our pregnancy and then the delivering and then straight into motherhood?!!! We will adapt for sure…hang in there. I know easier said than done. It’s just a matter of getting use to and I also know you have more patience than I do so you will adapt better than me for sure.
I know in time to come, there will be posts of how much you enjoy where you are right now. But yes, you’re still human too and you have all the right to complain…i sure will too being in your shoes (as u can tell in my previous posts that i can be such a nag!). You need to have your “me” time now and then so go hint to hubby that you this badly.
Take care and please keep the posts coming!
WMD: Wife, Mother, Daughter on 02 Dec 2007 at 11:22 pm #
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Like you say, it is only 1 week. It will all take time.
I do understand the bits you shared about the switch from being FTWM to SAHM.
It is winter there hence, daylight is shorter, so it prettty depressing when it is dark so early and not to mention the cold…so one tends to feel blue. I guess it does not help esp when you are just trying to settle down. I think it would have been better if you moved there during spring months…at least the surrounding looks more cheery.
Did not realize you left ady as I sms-ed you last week or so.
Take care.
Bart on 03 Dec 2007 at 9:55 am #
Hang in there yah? Having to look after a baby alone for half-a-day once a week is already “interesting”, so it’s understandable that going full-time has it’s challenges. You are in our prayers. Have a Blessed Advent.
KittyCat - thanks! Hahaha, “interesting” is the best understatement I’ve heard. Merry Christmas to you guys too
wHOisBaBy on 03 Dec 2007 at 9:57 am #
hopped from ramblingmoo’s blog. i am sahm with a 21 months baby boy living in Los Angeles. It is not easy to swtich from a full time working mom to a sahm. there is so much more work being a sahm and no time to have any me time. just hang in there, you are doing great. our day time is shorter now too, our sky becomes grey around 4:30pm. but once we are done with dec, the daylight will get longer. take care!
Thanks so much for your encouragement! Sounds like you totally understand how I feel…I’m slowly getting used to the routine, the place etc. Wow, I thought 5.30 pm is short, what’s that compared to 4.30 pm eh?
Zara's Mama on 03 Dec 2007 at 7:45 pm #
Luckily still have blog to keep you sane.
Btw, you are tagged.
A Mom's Diary on 04 Dec 2007 at 1:52 am #
it’s only been a week so hang in there…i know this sounds hollow but you need time to adapt, so don’t be too hard on yourself. take care.
Angeleyes on 06 Dec 2007 at 10:34 am #
aawww… don’t feel as though you are all alone ok. All things takes time and I bet over time you will love your new role… after all you only need to do this for 3 years… just like a contract… unlike some of us… for 20 years or more!
Probably when Lucas hit 2 you will have more fun being around him doing a lot of activities.
Btw, Darrius misses Lucas a lot and often ask for him and talking about having pasta together!